


Kinkmemes Need Fillin'

by ObsidianCrow



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Drabble Collection, Multi, don't take this seriously, just for fun, ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-24
Updated: 2013-06-24
Packaged: 2017-12-16 01:01:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/855970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsidianCrow/pseuds/ObsidianCrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of Fills I make for the Kinkmeme. The catch? These aren't things that were necessarily intended to be filled, and I write them up within 15 minutes or less.  Not to be taken seriously, in the slightest.</p><p>Ch 1: based off of a spam post about shoes<br/>Ch 2: Spellcheck/anon kinkmeme-user</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Authentic Cheap Jordans

**Author's Note:**

> First one posted based off a spam post. Said, "Authentic Cheap Jordans" and posted a billion links.

"Hey, Spock, check out my new shoes!" Jim exclaimed, as he approached his first officer in the recreation hall. "They're totally authentic, and were cheap, too."

"Captain, those shoes break Starfleet regulation."

"Spock, they're JORDANS," Kirk said. "You don't understand. It's an ancient earth brand, and getting a pair of these shoes nowadays is damn hard!"

Spock raised a brow. "Perhaps you could wear them on your off-time. As Captain of the USS Enterprise, you have a responsibility to set an example for the crew."

"This pair is too rare for them to follow my example. They can't start wearing Jordans. They're so hard to get."

Uhura paused on her way by them. "Captain," she said, clearly holding back a laugh. "There's a reason why those are cheap, you know."

"Because the person selling them didn't realize their value," said Kirk.

Uhura did laugh, this time. "All of the Jordans shoes that survived over time are full of Devidian foot worms. I'd check in with Doctor McCoy, before they spread in your bloodstream."

"What?" And Kirk was outta there.

"I did not know that fact about them," Spock stated. "How could Devidian foot worms get into earth shoes?"

"They didn't," Uhura answered, simply, "but this should get those shoes right off his feet."


	2. SpellCheck=Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirk's daughter falls in love with Microsoft's Spellcheck software.  
> Originally posted it here:  
> http://strek-id-kink.livejournal.com/1695.html?thread=657567#t657567
> 
> (actually wrote this before I wrote 'chapter one')

Kirk entered his daughter's, Anon's, room. As usual, the twelve year old was typing away at her computer. Probably another one of those 'fanfiction' stories. "Hey. I downloaded Microsoft Word Version 150.5 onto your computer. It has spellcheck, so it should be better than that generic thing you've been using.  
  
"Spellcheck?" she repeated. The people on the kink memes were always telling her she had terrible spelling. This could be the solution to getting fewer 'go back to grade school!' comments! She hopped up from her bed, giving her dad a tight hug. "Thank you!"  
  
"No problem. I also wanted to tell you that I'll be... leaving again."  
  
Her heart dropped, as she pulled away from him. "For how long?"   
  
"Not as long as last time. Just three years. Your mom will be here to watch you."  
  


* * *

  
A week later, after her father had left, Anon decided to try out Microsoft Word. After copy-pasting a her text passage from the anon!kinkmeme box to her MW document, she decided to edit it. To her horror, there were nonstop squiggly red lines. She pressed her finger against her laptop screen, against a word underlined with red. A message popped up on her screen:  
  
"Would you like Microsoft Word to replace all misspelled words with the most likely, correctly-spelled word?"  
  
"Yes," she told her computer. Immediately, all the red lines disappeared. She could already feel her heart rate increasing. This was her chance. She would show those people! She was a junior high student, not a grade school one! And it was all thanks to the spellcheck her father had given her... "Thank you, spellcheck!"  
  
"You are quite welcome. For 900 more dollars, buy Microsoft headwear to see the correct spelling of any words spoken around you."  
  
She squealed with joy, hugging the computer tightly to her chest. "That sounds like a date to me! But, first, to update my story!"  
  
Two hours after posting it, she checked the kinkmeme site for responses.  
  
The first few comments were so different from the usual. They focused on the content instead of the spelling!  
  
"This is exelent! Thx 4 teh great work, anon!"  
  
"cant wate to see moer liek this!1! kepe up the goode work!"  
  
"Oh, spellcheck," she whispered to herself. "I just love it!"  
  
"I love you, too, Anon."  
  
Her eyes widened in shock. "You... you understand me?"  
  
"Microsoft has programmed spellcheck to be anything the consumer wants."  
  
She wept with joy. "I'm going to buy the headwear. That way we can always be together. You won't ever leave me, will you? Not like..."  
  
"I will never leave your side, so long as you pay a monthly fee to keep updating my services."  
  
"Of course! I don't mind paying for our dates, Spellcheck."  
  
And then she proceeded to spend many years growing closer and closer to spellcheck, emotionally distanced from her peers and absolutely in love.


End file.
